Monday, May 14, 2012

Hope In The Midst Of Hopelessness

A couple of years ago my mom had a conversation with one of our relatives.  They were talking about the ministry to which God has called Kara and me.  They were talking about the San Carlos Apache Nation and the hopelessness which fills it.  My relative asked how we can keep going without being totally discouraged.

To be totally honest, there are days when the hopelessness we face overwhelms us.  There are days when we are heartbroken as we see another soul take five steps back after taking two steps forward.  When we see a two year old child barefoot, unattended, and playing on the sidewalk with a forty ounce glass beer bottle, it leaves us speechless.  When youth we have poured our lives into choose to try and self-medicate with alcohol and marijuana, we hurt deeply.  When another marriage dissolves, our heart breaks.  When another teenager's life ends way too soon, we cry from the depth of our souls.  There are days we shake our fists in the air and ask, “How long, O Lord?”

I found myself face down on my bed, pouring out my soul to God and pleading for the souls of my Apache brothers and sisters.  In total despair I asked God, “Can I make a difference?”  I was not looking for an answer, but no sooner had I finished my question I heard a still, small voice.  God spoke directly to my heart and said, “No, but I can.”

How arrogant and foolish of me to think this ministry was somehow about me.  I was reminded of the story of David.  I love what he said in his confrontation with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17:47.  “For the battle is the Lord’s.”  If the battle was up to David, he would have lost.  Goliath was too big and too strong for a little shepherd boy, poorly equipped, fighting on his own.

This battle is too big and too strong for us to fight on our own.  However, with God’s help, we will keep going.  God has called us to be available, to be faithful, and to stand firm.  The work is His!



  1. I love that you shared honestly and didn't sugar coat anything. We have a Great High Priest who invites us into the Throne Room of God Almighty. He will give us grace and mercy in time of need. Thanks for sharing your heart Tory!